We're Not Suppose To Cry
by JuvJuvychan
Summary: Starfire wasn't suppose to cry. That wasn't who she was. She was the happy, naive, smiley one of the team. She didn't feel pain. She wasn't suppose to. No one expected her to. So would somwone please tell her why her heart felt so utterly broken?
1. Big Girls Don't Cry

Juvy: Ahhh the good old days of Teen Titans. Goodness I miss this show (tears). I was always interested in the Star/Rob/Rea triangle. Though my ship is Star/Rob I found the concept interesting. Also Starfire was my favorite character. I haven't a clue why so many people hate her? So I decided to write some Starfire angst 'cause there seems to be a genre that is lacking. Also BB squimed himself in there too. Sneaky little kitten!

Disclaimer: Lets face it if any of us here owned TT then there'd still be new episodes. But alas I nor any of my fellow fans own it. Teen Titans belongs to it's respected owners. Drat.

* * *

She sat on the roof glancing out towards the sky. She didn't belong here, not anymore. At least she didn't feel as if she did. Sure she loved her friends dearly, but did they love her? She shook her head, red hair twisting about. Such a silly thought. Star knew they loved her. It was just one, him, that didn't love her the way she did.

Even when Starfire first arrived on this strange blue planet she had felt connected to the spiky haired human. He had fought her with such passion and strength in those first moments of meeting. Coming from a land where the ways of the warrior were bred into you as a child she instantly respected him. That respect had grown into something else. Something she hadn't the knowledge of until recently.

It was Cyborg who had explained it to her. This 'love'. She knew of love or thought she did. On her home planet they had the love of a warrior, love of a sibling and of parents, but not 'love'. This was where Star grew confused. She loved Cyborg, and Beastboy; they were like her older and younger brothers. Raven a sister to her, Robin had been harder to categorize however. It was perplexing for the longest time. She failed to understand why she couldn't place him in any of the groups she knew of. He wasn't like a father or brother. So what was he? This was where Cy had come in and explained.

'_On earth your heart pounds'._

_'Like you are in battle, quick and hard,' she asked. He nodded chuckling at her analogy._

_'You palms will become wet and sweaty too.'_

_'Sticky and moist like, and this means you are in this 'love?' She asked again and he nodded once more._

At first it had sounded like some sort of illness. Cy only laughed patting her on the shoulder goodheartedly. He spoke then boring deeply in her green eyes with wisdom only he seemed to possessed. '_When they can hurt you like no one else can,'_ Star closed her green eyes tightly at the memory_, ' then you're in love.'_ And she was.

Bless Tameran she was. Though when she realized, it hadn't appeared so shocking. Starfire knew—always—she had the 'feelings' she just couldn't tell what they were. She did now wishing she didn't. Watching the sun set coloring the sky a range of oranges and yellows Star felt the universe pull her to it. Calling her with sweet words covered in honey and promise. Starfire learned in one heartbreaking moment she loved Robin, now she wished she didn't.

Wished she didn't see it, feel it. All the way down to her bones and seven stomachs. She clung to the happy moments of her time here for there were many to chose from. The feeling of floating came upon her. Rising up she drifted closer and closer away from the pain that single tower room had held.

"Starfire!" A voice called pulling her back. Like a bag of bricks tied to her feet she fell back down to the meet the hard surface of concrete. "Oh man! My bad Star." She looked into a set of dark green eyes similar to hers and a crop of green hair.

"Beastboy?" Starfire questioned eyebrows rising. What could he possibly be doing here? The roof was something of a secret spot for her and Robin where they had always watched the sunset in her blissfully unaware days. Was it so wrong to want to cling to those times?

"Here," he offered her a gloved hand pulling her to her feet. They both smiled though there was no real joy behind it. Strange really as they were two of the most joyous members of the team. She knew of the reason her own heart ached, but Beastboy?

"Figured you were up here." He commented lightly sitting down on the edge. He stared out into the sky not unlike she had done only a few moments before. He had that same look in his eyes, one of need. What was it he needed Star wondered beginning to worry.

"Friend," she sat down beside him, "will you not tell me what troubles you so?" Beastboy looked slightly surprised only to let out a humorlessly chuckle. This behavior only served to confuse and worry the redhead more.

"Star, dude, that's my line." He flashed another smile showing off his one canine tooth.

"Wha-? But Beastboy, I assure you everything is in fine working order." She smiled brightly though something inside her was still screaming.

"You're good." Her eyes filled once again with confusion. "At pretending I mean. I swear if we weren't both upset of the same thing I wouldn't be able to tell at all." Starfire hadn't felt this confused since Robin had tried to explain to her the concept of the TV. The people were real but not trapped inside the device, more like moving pictures but how where pictures real? After a few hours Robin sat her down and told her to just enjoy it. She did.

"I saw them." Suddenly the pieces snapped in place with a shaking click. Them. Beastboy could only be referring to their leader and the dark-gemmed princess of the Tower.

"You saw…"

"I saw Robin and Raven, yeah." He was no longer looking at her only to the emerging twilight.

"Beastboy, friend, I, know of not what you speak—"

"It hurts ya know?" She stopped short examining the boy before her. He appeared so much older now. Gone was he usual carefree prankster attitude. Now was the older mature boy seen only by the few. " I mean, it just…hurts, ya know?" She did know, goodness did she know.

"I didn't mean—that is to say I—I…" Words fumbled out of her mouth. Starfire wanted to erase the scene that was on repeat in her head. She had an inkling that Beastboy wanted to do the same. Feeling a hand on her shoulder she glanced up.

"S'not your fault." He said smiply.

"And nor is it yours." She said softly placing her hand on top of his. They looked at each other both seeing the pain and regret. Both seeing what others didn't, couldn't. They weren't supposed to be sad, Starfire especially. She was supposed to be the happy-go-lucky girl who many felt was to stupid to feel or understand anything of substance. He was supposed to be the prankster who never learned to keep his mouth shut and was always falling into trouble. He wasn't supposed to be smart or worldly. Neither were suppose to be this upset.

Beastboy was expected to make a joke and Starfire was supposed to be over joyous. Both were suppose to congratulate them. Beastboy and Cyborg would propose to make a breakfast explosion and Star would suggest all sorts of outrageous things like a party or, heavens forbid, a wedding. Neither were suppose to be upset. It wasn't in their job descriptions. Moments passed as the sky flowed from yellow-orange to a purplish-blue. Stars sprinkled the horizon. Starfire longed to reach out and touch them. The tiny little planets that most earthlings knew nothing of. "Beastboy if I may…"

"Of course."

She turned resting her face in his shoulder. Tears flowed out of her green eyes. Meaningless words dribbled out of her mouth. A hand ran through her hair. Rain from another pair of green eyes splashed her neck. The stars twinkled on as two friends held each other trying to stitch their hearts back together. Even if it was only for pretend.

* * *

Edit!Juvy: Thanks SOOOO much to everyone who reviewed the first time. I LOVED the critism everyone gave me. That may sound a bits strange but I me, when people tell me I made mistakes it means a lot. So I went back edited some stuff and tried to fix things. Hope it reads better. Thank you. This is my first TT fic but I feel the need to write more. Maybe a multi chapter fic. Who knows, who knows... Hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading.


	2. Moving On?

* * *

Juv: We really didn't mean to write a part 2

Juvy: Just sorta happened that way I 'pose.

Juv:Though we are more nervous about this part, it was like writing a sequel and everyone knows sequels are never better than the original. But we decided to keep playing with this idea. We didn't want to end it there. So open. We really don't know how long this story could be. We just know it wants to continue.

Juvy: So we'll let it. We actully find it really easy to write Starfire, Beastboy, and Robin (a bit) but its Raven and Cyborg that scare us. . Also we wanted to show the other side of the coin so to speak. So POVs change a bit in this. But page breaks happen so you'll know when. Oh and un-betaed so all mistakes we're sorry.

Juv: We'd like to thank the reviewers cause without you guys we wouldn't have continued. So thank yous! smishes

Disclaimer: We don't own Teen Titans, cause if we did we wouldn't have ended one of the best shows on CN like that! We still don't own.

* * *

Time had passed casting away those bittersweet moments on the rooftop she had shared with Beastboy. Now reality had set in gripping them both tightly, squeezing the air out of their lungs. Starfire had never felt so exhausted. Crying with Beastboy had taken an untold toll on her body. Her eyes were constantly trying to close on her while her mind was fighting to stay focused. What she really wanted to do was sleep. Lay down her head letting thoughts and worries drift away into the stars she so longed to be among. Perhaps then everything wouldn't hurt so much.

Even with the passage of time ticking away memories pain did not tick away so easily. Her thoughts brought her back to the face of Beastboy as she began wondering if he felt anything akin to what her own heart and mind were crying out so fiercely. He must; after all it wasn't only her tears that had coated the rooftop under the sky's emerging twilight. She had felt him shaking as well. In a strange way Star appreciated that. That he trusted her enough to shed tears with her. It was a great honor. She needed a friend in this time of confusion and hurt. She could see Beastboy needed one as well. Walking back through the hallways of their tower Star was twitching with questions as well as filled with anxiety yet nervous with wonder.

What would she do when she saw them? How would she react? How was she supposed to act? Suddenly the hallway was stretching and twisting before her eyes, Star didn't realize it was her who was the one in knots. Before her face could become acquainted with the floor below she felt a hand grab her wrist and steady her.

"Star?" She looked up to see a very concerned Beastboy asking something in an equally worried voice. Starfire shook her head trying to clear the thick fog of questions and anxiety that had clouded her sight. "Yo, Star you okay?" Once again that worried voice, it was so kind coming from Beastboy. Here he was in the same situation as her, lost and alone, and he was being so strong. Inspired by this Star seemed to draw confidence right out of the hand steadying her.

"I am fine, friend." She smiled warmly. "I thank you for your concerns, but my legs are in fine working condition now." He let go of her wrist looking down the hallway with a reluctant glint in his green eyes.

"I'm kinda scared too." Star's eyes widened even more than usually in shock at the statement. "Don't tell anybody though! Cy would never let me live it down, man." He let out a chuckle that sounded like a cross between a lie and the truth.

"I promise the ears of others will not hear your glorious confession." Starfire smiled gleefully, feeling for the first time in hours truly happy.

"When I understand what you said I'll thank you." Beastboy's spirits seemed to have lifted as well. The whole mood had changed like one of those rings of mood Bumblebee had shown her once. Darker colors seemed to symbolize darker feelings, while the lighter ones symbolize happier feelings. Starfire however, disagree with the colors the magically changing rings. Sometimes things that appeared light were not always happy. Like the sun, a great ball of bright light, yet get to close and all you'd do is burn. How ironic almost, she had once—no still—thought of Robin as her sun.

"Tell me Beastboy friend, was Raven your 'sun'." He cast her a quizzical look, which sent her stammering. "Perhaps that is not the correct wording, may I try again?"

"Nah, I think I got what you were saying. But Raven a sun? My sun? No way." His eyes seemed to cloud with the mist of memories, but fond ones, ones they held on to in times of need. "She's was—is—something different. I guess I never really, really knew. Not till after," he cast his head down, "after Terra." Star placed a comforting hand on his shoulder just as he did for her only hours ago. Sending her a grateful smile he continued. "She's just everything I could never be ya know? Can't tell ya how many times she's kept me grounded. Feels like I always know where I'm walking with I'm with her." He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment a light blush coloring his green cheeks. Starfire felt warmed by the intensity of the shape shifters' confession. It was truly amazing how much one could feel for another. It was also truly painful when they didn't feel the same as you.

"I feel the 'feelings' as well friend." Her eyes glazed over with memories. "He is truly wonderful," she whispered fondly. As the happy, peaceful memories filed through her mind the bitterness of one scene tainted her happy secluded movie. It was scary how one simple mistake, one simple moment, could change everything. Star sighed; then turned to face Beastboy showing off her pained but determined smile. "Shall we?" She asked holding out her hand for him to take.

Beastboy shared her smiled as well taking her hand in his gloved one they ran down the hall like the teenagers they were suppose to be. Instead of the heroes they were forced to be.

* * *

The doors opened with a swish revealing their common room. The two spotted Cyborg's connecting the latest gaming system up to their ridiculously huge television set while Raven was spotted sitting comfortably on the couch reading a red leather bound book with a broken spine and decaying pages. Star felt Beastboy flinch at the sight of such normalcy. Starfire understood why should the world be at peace when they were in such turmoil? Why should things appear so bright and normal when a storm whirled and thrashed about in their minds and hearts? The world does continue on however, the sun rises, the earth keeps on spinning regardless of what her inhabitants feel. Time stays still for no man (or woman) but this does not mean they must face it with such sorrowful hearts.

Star tightened her hand around Beastboys', as he needed her as much as she needed him. They send each other a reassuring look before breaking contact and heading towards the kitchen. They fall into an easy conversation about the wonders of vegan foods and if mustard was allowed.

"Well _technically_ it's not an animal anything…"

"Then the wonders of mustard are allowed in this 'vegan' style of foods?" Star inquired excitedly. She was proud of herself. So far, even with the sight of Raven and the constant nightmare running on repeat in her head, the pain had lessened. The picture was slowly fading into a crinkled memory. She was starting to feel like herself again. Until another swish rung through the air followed by the distinct sound of metal-toed boots.

Robin.

Beastboy reacted quickly noticing the sudden change in moods of the alien princess. "Hey Star, how 'bout I make you some of my world famous tofu surprise."

"The only thing surprising about it is that it's digestible." Raven quipped from her corner. Starfire felt grateful and sorry for her changeling friend. She knew such comments were in Raven's nature and they meant no true harm but…

"Actually Beastboy's got a point." Robin said gaining the attention of the team.

"Man you crazy," Cyborg stated pointing an accusing finger in Robin's direction. "If you think for one second that I'm a'gonna eat that nasty tofu junk…"

"Hey, hey, I was just saying its getting late maybe we should have some dinner." Robin defended holding his hands up in surrender.

"Alright," Cyborg agreed, "but I'm making the food."

"What! No way dude you like, always make it some meat explosion!" Beastboy complained defending his precious tofu. Sure at one point they had tried to take over the world in the form of mild-mannered manger Bob but the idea of eating 'himself'. Ugh, it was just _wrong_.

"That's the point," Cy replied dryly.

"I say we have a vote. All for eating poor hapless animals that I change into, like, everyday to _save this town_," Beastboy emphasized. Instantly Cyborg raised his hand followed by Robin's. "Traitors." He grumbled. "All right all for eating viva la vegan!" No one was shocked at Beastboy's approval but rather Starfire's. The team stared at her in confusion silently waiting for an explanation.

"Well, I wish to experience the earthly customs, to do this I must experience _all_ earthly customs correct? Which includes its many sources and styles of food consumption, am I correct?" Her logic was unshakable. Now though with Star's surprise vote they were tied and Raven was their swing vote. The black-haired girl gave them all a bored look before softly saying,

"I'll have what Robin's having." The remark seemed innocent enough but struck deep for both green-eyed titans. However letting such a little remark slice into them would only place them back on that roof. No, what Beastboy and Starfire both wanted now was to move past that rooftop and on to the sunrise.

* * *

Robin felt his eye twitch. He supposed he should be used to it by now, after all it had been twitching all night. They were seated around a large circular table cluttered with an assortment of Chinese foods. In the end all agreed it was be best to enjoy a night out, as pizza was quickly discarded as a dinner choice. They instead decided to expanded their food horizons and choose a small, quaint, little Chinese restaurant that served some really good sesame chicken. Of course one would assume with such good company and fine food Robin would be having an excellent time. He wasn't however.

How could he? Beastboy had so conveniently taken Robin's normal seat beside Starfire. Robin could handle being annoyed. After all one day with his team would send a normal person into a coma. No annoyed Robin was used to, being thoroughly confused however was not.

"Oh Beastboy you're stories about the P-E-T-A's are truly wondrous! Please share more friend, I would like to hear more of your adventures on the '_Animal Cop'_." Starfire released another joyous giggle from her mouth. Beastboy needed no more coxing to reel off into another story, much of which Robin was sure held no truth. Starfire was much too gullible for her own good. And since when in the name of Control Freak did Beastboy and Starfire hang out? He knew that they were friends, considering the whole team was based on close ties; thread upon thread of friendships created over time and adventures. Yet still, Beastboy was Cyborgs' best friend. Cyborgs' monopolizer of time. Starfire was his—

"Robin," he glanced over to his right. Raven was giving him one of those scrutinizing stares. It scared him; how easily she could understand him. He smiled the muscles of his mouth twisting into position. She didn't look convinced. In response Robin dropped his hand under the table passing Raven a measured stare. She received his message loud and clear.

He felt the warmth of her hand seep through his gloves. Her lips formed silent words—then they were communicating silently. He felt the stage invasion of another in his mind but they had done this so much now that he was hardly bothered.

"_So are you going to include me in your misery?"_ Raven snipped with a hit of humor.

"_Guess."_ He answered back. Hearing voices in his head probably wasn't healthy but he'd let Raven slide through the cracks.

"I could easily just search through your mind. At least that way I save myself the headache of listening to someone's pitying babble."

"_Ouch. That hurts, Raven that hurts."_ Though he wasn't in the least offended.

"_Yes well, either tell me or allow me the pleasure of returning to my meal."_

"_Still embarrassed to admit you like the squid huh?"_

"_That stuff is vile and you know it."_ That statement left no room for a rebuttal. _"Now speak or I shall make you eat my waffles."_ Robin inwardly cringed at the threat. Not knowing where to begin he decided to just rip the band-aid off as quickly and painless as possible.

"_It's them."_ Robin spat quickly feeling the burn of the rip.

"_Them who?"_ Raven asked though Robin had a hunch she already knew. Releasing a heavy mental sigh Robin reluctantly elaborated.

"_Beastboy and Starfire."_ She stated simply_. "They appear to be having a good time. So?"_ Raven was silent for a moment chewing words about in her mind trying to create the right blend of words.

"_Why do they bother you?"_ The question could be taken a few different ways. Raven's voice, careful calculated, revealed nothing, which just made it harder for Robin to answer. Did Beastboy and Starfire bother him? Watching them together now laughing, giggling, cracking jokes like childhood playmates in a schoolyard Robin realized yes, yes they did bother him. He couldn't place why he just knew they did. He looked over at Raven noticing the sudden change in her attire. Her hood was drawn up to her face so only her dark purple eyes could be seen. He no longer felt her lingering presence in his mind as she retreated back into her own world. A world protected by the mysterious beauty of red roses, but like all beautiful things, she was covered in thorns entwined in thick veins. Would anyone be able to break though?

He hoped so, he honestly did. They had created a bond through the trauma of her fathers' reappearance. They understood each other on a level most people never hope to achieve. He trusted Raven as Raven trusted him. When he told her once before to let him in her mind she had granted him access. Access that few people can warrant. Raven was a puzzle box carefully crafted covered with many locks tightly bound in chained knots. Sometimes Robin felt even Raven herself didn't have all the keys. Which only made him want to help her more.

He remembered that moment, when he found her crying guard completely let down. Everything lay bare—open. She was bleeding out her inner most nightmares alone, something Robin refused to allow. He held her then, tightly in his arms hoping to chase away those demons. She didn't push him away nor did she pull him closer. Raven merely allowed him to hold her in that comforting embrace. Telling her secret things that she didn't want but needed to hear. When their eyes connected it was coincidence, when the lips met it was comfort.

If they were 'together' in the typical terms that normal teenagers used Robin didn't own a clue. He knew he liked Raven, her subtle beauty, quiet ways, most of all the silent understanding they had began to share. When the heat of her hand melded with his Robin felt comfort. He couldn't—though he wanted to try—deny that seeing Starfire and Beastboy so…close—did indeed bother him. He wasn't jealous for he didn't feel anything romantic towards Starfire. It was just that she was his best friend Robin decided. She was like his younger sister, as older brother Robin had the duty to protect her. Protect her from anything, this included people who may or may not hurt her. Robin only hoped that Beastboy wasn't dumb enough to walk down that road.

* * *

Cyborg couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was ridiculous really. As he ate his fair share of Chinese while making conversation with his friends he saw. Many didn't know this but Cyborg saw everything. Perhaps it was an added on feature of being part robot or maybe just apart of whom he had always been, but whatever it was it hardly mattered. What mattered was what his friends were doing to themselves.

No one could claim Cyborg was an idiot as that title belonged firmly to Beastboy. He did seem to fade into the background a lot much to his dismay. Though maybe that was a good thing, that he wasn't apart of all the inner drama that surrounded his other teammates. Cyborg didn't mean to pry, or spy, or observe with an extremely keen eye, he just couldn't help it. He saw how broken both Starfire and Beastboy were when they entered the Titans common room. Most importantly he knew why. He had caught Star running from Raven's room in such haste his was tempted to go after the alien princess to see if she was alright. Cyborg didn't instead deciding to observe what had caused such a devastating reaction from the normally bubbly girl. He should have guessed.

After the events of dealing with Ravens' crazed demon father Cyborg spotted the change in both Robin and Ravens' demeanor. They glanced at each other more often, talked more or just sat in silence taking silent comfort in each other's presence. Cyborg saw how Raven leaned on Robin a little more, trusted him a bit more than she did the others. He supposed it was because they had much in common. Both lost in their own darkness. Taking comfort in that understanding. Cyborg thought they were both idiots in their own right.

Accepting someone when you're the same is easy. Accepting someone who's completely different is hard. That was what they could have had with their two green-eyed teammates. Cyborg saw that Starfire and Beastboy cared for the other two deeply. Accepted them for their flaws and all. Even if they didn't completely understand them, they wanted to. Cyborg felt that that was very rare. If anything he thought that Starfire and Beastboy were two extremely rare people. Both had accepted him dispute his electric shaping. Beastboy in his own innocent naïve way when they had first met and Starfire who had made him believe that metal or not he was still _him_. Naturally he became somewhat protective of these two. Vowing that anyone that hurt them would feel the same pain tenfold. Cyborg couldn't forget though that Raven and Robin were also an irreplaceable part of his life.

Raven and him had bonded over many things including his baby, Robin was their leader who he fiercely respected and had a mutual understanding with about what made a man. Looking around the table littered with bits of rice, various fish, and mixed vegetables he saw his family. He saw Robin and Raven's clasped hands, Robin's jealously towards Beastboy and Starfire, and Starfire and Beastboys' strongest attempts of moving past the pain of a broken heart. Cyborg saw all of this and more. He saw the makings of a tragic play performed by unknowing actors who would only fall into ruin by the curtain call. Cyborg was the big brother, the parent figure, the most mature of them all and most of all a leader in his own right. He wouldn't allow this to end tragically, with a trail of broken pieces in its wake. He would fight to keep his friends—family—happy. Even if he had to bring in reinforcements to make it happen. Cyborg knew he could help his family move past this; good thing to, cause by the looks of it they sure as hell couldn't help themselves.

Juv: So does Robin really like Star or Raven. And what's Raven's real feelings on the green-eyed pair? And who's Cy gonna bring to the Tower? Don't know? Niether do we! XD

Juvy: Honest we really don't know how we're gonna do this, we have an idea but the path is foggy. Stuck with us till then.

Juv: Thanks for reading.


End file.
